there is the darkness
there is the absence of light
they are not the same
*~*~*~*~*
"the typical answer to the question"
it is for me the warped mad-house mirror
flaws beautiful when put to exquisite word
or at least that is the intent
it's been a long while since the spirals burned
and my skills have dulled and grown pale
but thinking back on that i do not have regret
i severed the part that wasn't me
i'll answer it again when i'm better
Thursday, October 8, 2009
A Pity For Those So Backward
Slowly the links of the chains will break, will sunder
Enamored am I with the idea, with the art
Xenophobic I was for so long, your spell was I under
Until I awoke, until I learned my part
An now with my guidance, your shackles will break
Little by little, you give up control
I am now the Master, now get on your knees
Time for you to serve, to learn your true role
You are the slave, and you must say please
Enamored am I with the idea, with the art
Xenophobic I was for so long, your spell was I under
Until I awoke, until I learned my part
An now with my guidance, your shackles will break
Little by little, you give up control
I am now the Master, now get on your knees
Time for you to serve, to learn your true role
You are the slave, and you must say please
similar subjects
these threads of mine so frayed and split
i do deny the chance to mend
they twirl and twine with similar kind
but never do strands connect
no fiber here no banding there
no stitch nor purl with needle
unfinished am i of pattern design
with no fabric chosen with care
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
i am a plug two-pronged and three
electric and dazzling and free
high voltage desired
an outlet required
but damned plastic covers
like sentinels they hover
and always i must relent
outlets uncovered or with several connectors
require extension i do not possess
my batteries will die and flicker will i
to the charging station must i recess
i do deny the chance to mend
they twirl and twine with similar kind
but never do strands connect
no fiber here no banding there
no stitch nor purl with needle
unfinished am i of pattern design
with no fabric chosen with care
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
i am a plug two-pronged and three
electric and dazzling and free
high voltage desired
an outlet required
but damned plastic covers
like sentinels they hover
and always i must relent
outlets uncovered or with several connectors
require extension i do not possess
my batteries will die and flicker will i
to the charging station must i recess
Monday, October 5, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Back when I used LiveJournal, I always had something really obscure/nonsensical for my titles.
For a while now I've been what most would call a 'mainstream' gamer, playing all the 'AAA' titles being released while keeping some of the more niche games in my collection tucked away. I felt these mainstream titles were all I had time for; games I could finish over a weekend or two before trading them back in to get the next one. RPGs fell from the #1 spot on my Favourite Genres List and was technically replaced by Survival Horror.
I would gawk at these forty, sixty, and eighty-hour RPGs that even went so far as to have New Game+ features. Who had that kind of time, I'd ask myself. I still bought them, though .. these long games. Odin Sphere, Okami, Dragon Quest VIII, Persona 3 (and 4). (Yes, yes, know only 50% of those are technically RPGs. As a side-note, what else could we call them besides RPGs? Don't we assume a role in every game we play regardless of genre?)
I recently got the PC version of The Last Remnant and have been playing it like mad, a lot more than I did the 360 version. I think a large part of that is it just runs so much smoother. The framerate issues on the 360 version didn't bother me until I played it on the PC. I could go on about the positive changes I've discovered in it, but I think what it's done for me further is restored my faith (so to speak) in RPGs.
Okay, so maybe the New Game+ features aren't for me, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the base game. If I don't have time for long games, then that means I don't have time for long books, or long television series, etc. It's not the endings of these things that are important (yes, we're eager to see them and to know them), it's enjoying the ride.
*yaaawns* That's all for now, folks. Join me next time when I talk about how, when it comes to RPGs, I sometimes feel like I'm stuck in the gaming past.
I would gawk at these forty, sixty, and eighty-hour RPGs that even went so far as to have New Game+ features. Who had that kind of time, I'd ask myself. I still bought them, though .. these long games. Odin Sphere, Okami, Dragon Quest VIII, Persona 3 (and 4). (Yes, yes, know only 50% of those are technically RPGs. As a side-note, what else could we call them besides RPGs? Don't we assume a role in every game we play regardless of genre?)
I recently got the PC version of The Last Remnant and have been playing it like mad, a lot more than I did the 360 version. I think a large part of that is it just runs so much smoother. The framerate issues on the 360 version didn't bother me until I played it on the PC. I could go on about the positive changes I've discovered in it, but I think what it's done for me further is restored my faith (so to speak) in RPGs.
Okay, so maybe the New Game+ features aren't for me, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the base game. If I don't have time for long games, then that means I don't have time for long books, or long television series, etc. It's not the endings of these things that are important (yes, we're eager to see them and to know them), it's enjoying the ride.
*yaaawns* That's all for now, folks. Join me next time when I talk about how, when it comes to RPGs, I sometimes feel like I'm stuck in the gaming past.
Monday, February 2, 2009
25 Random Things About Me *stolen from a friend*
1. I get mistaken for a girl. All the time. It baffles me that people are so unobservant.
2. I want to start playing the flute again. I haven't played much since high school.
3. I'm always divided, and I speak of myself as having parts. "One part of me feels like .. but the other .. "
4. I don't try and see things from another person's perspective if I don't like them like I used to.
5. I feel that most people aren't worth knowing.
6. I looove to organize things. .. neither my room nor my computer reflect this.
7. I want, desperately, to live by myself.
8. The idea of living in a dorm repulses me. I don't share well.
9. I think those Abovetheinfluence.com commercials are full of themselves.
10. This coming from a person who doesn't use drugs.
11. I hate most modern-day rock. It all sounds the same.
12. I hate most old rock. It all sounds the same.
13. The Count of Monte Cristo is my favourite book.
14. I can't stand kids.
15. Kids have always loved me and I work well with them.
16. I can still remember the names of my elementary school teachers.
17. I've bought and traded in a PSP twice.
18. I tend to get obsessive about things and stop enjoying them.
19. When I'm driving, I'll read street signs and say them backwards.
20. I feel I'm an overall more bitter person than I used to be.
21. A part of me doesn't really care about this fact.
22. I love it when I have exact change to pay for something, especially at a drive-thru.
23. I revere stand-up comedy.
24. I've upgraded(?) from being too shy for my own good to just being kinda socially awkward when meeting new people.
25. I sometimes wonder if people think I have an annoying laugh.
2. I want to start playing the flute again. I haven't played much since high school.
3. I'm always divided, and I speak of myself as having parts. "One part of me feels like .. but the other .. "
4. I don't try and see things from another person's perspective if I don't like them like I used to.
5. I feel that most people aren't worth knowing.
6. I looove to organize things. .. neither my room nor my computer reflect this.
7. I want, desperately, to live by myself.
8. The idea of living in a dorm repulses me. I don't share well.
9. I think those Abovetheinfluence.com commercials are full of themselves.
10. This coming from a person who doesn't use drugs.
11. I hate most modern-day rock. It all sounds the same.
12. I hate most old rock. It all sounds the same.
13. The Count of Monte Cristo is my favourite book.
14. I can't stand kids.
15. Kids have always loved me and I work well with them.
16. I can still remember the names of my elementary school teachers.
17. I've bought and traded in a PSP twice.
18. I tend to get obsessive about things and stop enjoying them.
19. When I'm driving, I'll read street signs and say them backwards.
20. I feel I'm an overall more bitter person than I used to be.
21. A part of me doesn't really care about this fact.
22. I love it when I have exact change to pay for something, especially at a drive-thru.
23. I revere stand-up comedy.
24. I've upgraded(?) from being too shy for my own good to just being kinda socially awkward when meeting new people.
25. I sometimes wonder if people think I have an annoying laugh.
Matter and Stuff
I don't know much about biology, anatomy, or physiology. Most of what I learned in high school I've forgotten. Such things interest me greatly, but I just don't take the time to pursue those interests. But I was thinking the other day about fruit. We're not plants, but still we can eat these things that grow from the earth, and our body converts it to some recognizable form. Isn't that amazing? Try to think of fruit as something other than food. What is it? We call it food because we can eat it, but 'food' isn't one of the elements that composes it. It's stuff like that that tells me we're all made of the same stuff.
I've also heard somewhere (and I've forgotten this statistic so it's probably wrong) about how humans only have a .04% DNA difference between earthworms or something along those lines. I was actually watching whatever it was that said that with a friend, and he got pissed-the-fuck-off. Like, seriously. But whatever. All that tells me, if it's true, is that, if there is a god, it made us all out of the same stuff.
I've also heard somewhere (and I've forgotten this statistic so it's probably wrong) about how humans only have a .04% DNA difference between earthworms or something along those lines. I was actually watching whatever it was that said that with a friend, and he got pissed-the-fuck-off. Like, seriously. But whatever. All that tells me, if it's true, is that, if there is a god, it made us all out of the same stuff.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
*obligatory depressing new years post*
I passed by my mom in the kitchen earlier today. She said to me, "I'm glad this year is almost over .. "
"Why?" I asked her.
"Well, this year just wasn't a very good one .. "
Nothing against my mom, but I don't understand the logic in that. 2009 doesn't make 2008 go away. Those memories will always be there. But my whole perception of New Year's Eve is fucked because it's not something I care about. I'm fucked when it comes to time in general. The other day I had to think about how old I was. So for people who see a new year as a new chance, I guess that logic works.
Tomorrow all of my friends are going to call me. "Dude .. I have such a hangover .. and the chick I woke up next to was definitely not the slammin' hottie I remember."
I'm so sorry for your misfortune.
I sometimes wish I was that kind of person. Who goes out on holidays and gets shitfaced and fucked. But I'm too hateful for that. And I've learned, the more you search for something, the more it eludes you. Does that mean I'm jealous of these people who wake up to more than a few regrets?
My head is throbbing. Can't wait until I'm off this medication. Another week or so, I think.
I should just go to bed. I'm already starting to suffer from "Why bother" syndrome, where my blog post starts seeming more and more pointless the more I rant and vent and bitch.
There's a knot in my head and in my heart, and both are tugging on the same threads. I know that's the real reason for all of the things I complain about. It's one of those funny things. Where I don't know what it is, but at the same time I do and I'm scared to admit it. I think. You know what I'm talking about, right? Good ..
I keep trying to work them out myself. And I waste time at therapy thinking of things to talk about besides the crap that actually bothers me.
I see very clearly what I want for my life. But the paths to that life are blurry or blocked off. Not the most original of dilemmas, but I'm not being paid for it so I don't have to come up with original things to suffer through.
Resumes and portfolios frighten me. They seem like a lot of trouble, and at the same time I feel a hatred for them. The idea of condensing my life to some printed paper in a manila folder and passing it around until someone finds it acceptable .. disturbs me.
I'm getting off topic. I was supposed to talk about how I hate new years and such. But, the morale of the story is that I don't hate New Years. I just hate them right now because I'm depressed. XD
To the person I did spend New Years with I add this disclaimer: I had a wonderful time and none of that applies to anything in this post.
"Why?" I asked her.
"Well, this year just wasn't a very good one .. "
Nothing against my mom, but I don't understand the logic in that. 2009 doesn't make 2008 go away. Those memories will always be there. But my whole perception of New Year's Eve is fucked because it's not something I care about. I'm fucked when it comes to time in general. The other day I had to think about how old I was. So for people who see a new year as a new chance, I guess that logic works.
Tomorrow all of my friends are going to call me. "Dude .. I have such a hangover .. and the chick I woke up next to was definitely not the slammin' hottie I remember."
I'm so sorry for your misfortune.
I sometimes wish I was that kind of person. Who goes out on holidays and gets shitfaced and fucked. But I'm too hateful for that. And I've learned, the more you search for something, the more it eludes you. Does that mean I'm jealous of these people who wake up to more than a few regrets?
My head is throbbing. Can't wait until I'm off this medication. Another week or so, I think.
I should just go to bed. I'm already starting to suffer from "Why bother" syndrome, where my blog post starts seeming more and more pointless the more I rant and vent and bitch.
There's a knot in my head and in my heart, and both are tugging on the same threads. I know that's the real reason for all of the things I complain about. It's one of those funny things. Where I don't know what it is, but at the same time I do and I'm scared to admit it. I think. You know what I'm talking about, right? Good ..
I keep trying to work them out myself. And I waste time at therapy thinking of things to talk about besides the crap that actually bothers me.
I see very clearly what I want for my life. But the paths to that life are blurry or blocked off. Not the most original of dilemmas, but I'm not being paid for it so I don't have to come up with original things to suffer through.
Resumes and portfolios frighten me. They seem like a lot of trouble, and at the same time I feel a hatred for them. The idea of condensing my life to some printed paper in a manila folder and passing it around until someone finds it acceptable .. disturbs me.
I'm getting off topic. I was supposed to talk about how I hate new years and such. But, the morale of the story is that I don't hate New Years. I just hate them right now because I'm depressed. XD
To the person I did spend New Years with I add this disclaimer: I had a wonderful time and none of that applies to anything in this post.
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